“Is that poop or chocolate? Poop? Or chocolate? … It’s chocolate!” -Baby Momma
Kids. Are. Gross.
There are no two ways about it. They are constantly putting things in their mouths, putting their mouths on things, sticking their hands in places that nobody has any business sticking their hands… Gross with a capital G. And it is your job as a mom to figure out just exactly how gross they are.
There is currently a popular meme flying around the web talking about a new pregnancy test that is curved so you don’t risk getting pee on your hand. As the meme says- if you’re not ready to be peed on, you are not ready for children. This is a fact. You need to expect to deal with all bodily fluids at any minute. I have been peed on, pooped on and vomited on. It is just the reality when you have tiny humans.
That said, sometimes, it is necessary to pretend that isn’t your reality. I admit to days of wetting my shirt to pretend it wasn’t covered in spit up, ignoring the fact that my baby pooped in their diaper until their other parent walked into the room and smelled it, and ignoring the mountain of laundry until someone else starts it.
This is a confession from a mom who knows when it is time to simply walk away.