Come on, ladies. It’s just us here. Let’s be honest… BEFORE you had kids, did you spend precious Netflix-watching time sewing, baking, and crafting? I’m willing to bet that while a select few of you did (in a Brooklyn-hipster-Etsy-esque way), most of you thought of those things as “stuff grandmas did.” Grandmas in the olden days.
So why is that, upon giving birth, we are now expected to be creative in a myriad of ways? Wasn’t creating LIFE enough? Do I now have to churn my own butter?
I feel pressured to cook nutritious meals, pack fun kid-pleasing yet healthy lunches, decorate nurseries, design birth announcements, holiday cards, birthday party themes, and Halloween costumes. And I feel judged if I don’t do these things.
But exactly who is doing this pressuring and this judging? Who or what is causing my angst?
It’s not my husband. As long as dinner involves cheese and an alcoholic beverage, he’s happy. It’s not my son. He’d be glad to wear a ratty Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles sweatshirt from Target instead of a lovingly hand-knitted fisherman’s sweater. It’s not MY mom. She’s just thrilled to be a grandmother.
On first glance, it feels like peer pressure. The kind of pressure that before kids manifested in fashion and knowing the “in” restaurants. Instead of worrying about whether round or pointy toed pumps are in this year, I’m now worried that the other moms will judge me for putting my kid in a Halloween costume bought at our local CVS instead of a home-made work of art.
But if I really, truly think deeply about the source of pressure–and I need a couple of glasses of wine to do such deep thinking–I have to admit that the pressure comes from within. Because I don’t really know what the other moms are thinking when my son comes to school with a Lunchable for the third day in a row. Maybe they are too busy feeling inadequate themselves to notice.
Or maybe they do notice and judge. In which case, are these women I really want to be friends with anyway?
I wasn’t crafty before becoming a mom. And I’m ready to accept that I won’t turn into a Pinterest/Etsy/Butter Churner any time soon. Because I’ve got kids to raise and wine to drink. (But I am into gardening.)